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Attachment and Letting Go

March 13, 2013

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It is very easy to become attached to many things. Not just to things we possess, but to a certain image of ourselves, to certain relationships with other people. A common problem for me has been attachment to my own past and attachment to anger regarding forces I felt had conspired against me in my life. So many ways in which we can form an unhealthy attachment to something.

How then do we learn to be aware of this, so we can begin to let go of some of the things we have an unhealthy attachment to?

I suppose it is different for all of us. For me it has been a long hard journey, which I am still on at the moment. Books have helped me, but have not been enough in themselves. Meditation, Yoga, have been of some service to me also. Running and exercise another way for me to let go of things. But the underlying problem of anger was still there. I have even tried inner talk cd’s, to promote positive thinking and stop my negative thoughts. But the negative thoughts keep coming back sooner or later. Ultimately, I needed someone I could talk to, to let some things out that I had been holding in. I did this, and it has helped me an awful lot.

There is no substitute for reaching out to another person sometimes. I do tend to withdraw into my own world a lot. It feels so much safer and comfortable than taking the risks and the stresses of getting involved with other people. I suppose in a way I have become attached to the idea of being not attached to anyone. Books are a great consolation, but they shouldn’t be a replacement for human contact and relationships.

So we need to be open to the world. Open to the experiences it has to offer us. We need to avoid attachment to things, avoid always taking the safe route. To do this we have to figure out what it is we really want to do with our lives, we can only discover this in quiet reflection. Let all the images, all the attachments flicker through your head without reacting to them. Eventually they settle down, and you will find an inner determination at this point. Some time after this the path you should follow will become clearer to you.

So there really is no secret technique to avoiding attachment, and sometimes attachment to others can even be a good thing. It is a constant work in progress, a path we have to determine for ourselves, not by forcing it, but by waiting patiently for that inner determination to emerge.

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