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Tension (Behavior Modification)

June 25, 2013

Tension pervades our many encounters

from day to day as we mingle and mix

many stride firmly with belief,

but many others are doubters.

quite a challenge, quite difficult to fix

all the troubles around me and all the grief

Or maybe I am projecting my own inner fear

my own worries, which I hold so dear?

Is the angst out there, or is it just in my head

am I closed to the world, paralyzed with dread.

A strange comfort and control I get from this play

from projecting on to others what I think they will say

Means I need not listen, and can create my own drama

my own little story, in an enveloping panorama.

Roles are there for all, to conform to what I expect

selfish and hate-filled, and for me, no respect.

Quite a victim I have made here for myself

out of the shadows from a past of ill health

torment and frustration,

consistent self-denigration.

low expectations,

predictable confirmations

hate bubbling away

anger taking sway

no opponent

just components

of my own personality

my own cosy reality.

Maybe I have got the world wrong

maybe it does not mirror my song

tension need not be maintained

and dignity can still be retained

A smile disarms us, breaks through our insulation

leaves us open to a new sort of contemplation

A friendly word, a relaxed behavioral motion

a welcoming gesture, a new kind of emotion

an opening up from deep within

from the pits of the stomach, the source of our sin

now more composed,

more mildly disposed,

a new mood, a new reflection

a new hope, a new direction.

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