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Rekindling My Spirituality

November 23, 2013

Well it is that time of year, the winter always seems to make me even more reflective than usual. I feel a need to rekindle the spiritual flame that should be my life. I have gone through the motions too long, only doing good things for people when expecting something in return. Getting tangled up in friendships with people who are a bad influence on me, and who do not share or appreciate my aspirational approach to life. I simply won’t and can’t, for the sake of my mental health and well-being, let this inert lifestyle continue.

So where to begin? Last winter I took to a critical appreciation of the bible, reading sections of spiritual interest. This year I think I am going to get back into meditation and other exercises to increase the power of intentionality of my mind. This kind of discipline is currently absent in my life. I have been very disciplined with my running, and at times with my study. But it is no good to drift through life like this. Yet I know of people who seem determined to drift at all costs!

Where does all this mental laziness come from? For me personally it has come from fear. Fear of the emptiness of my own mind. I fear the night times when I am alone with my thoughts, so I create reams and reams of distractions to keep me occupied. I check an email, I read a bit, I look on you tube, I check emails again, I listen to some music, I get a drink, have a snack, watch a tv program, I check emails once more… etc.. All done to delay the mind emptying that comes anyway in sleep eventually!

What is the problem here? I am getting caught up in the runaway world that is the world we live in today, and I am not giving myself a chance to have downtime to recover, I am not controlling and choosing when to relax, I am wearing myself out until I simply have to relax. It is going to take a lot of discipline to change what has become a very bad habit here of mine. But I think it is worth the effort to try and start taking control of my mind and making choices in tune with my deeper sense of being.

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