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Being Normal

November 20, 2014

This is something I have never been comfortable with in my life. There are a lot of influences out in society trying to “Normalize” you. Luckily for many they are not aware of the subtle ways in which they are influenced, so they can carry on along merrily in their lives.

It is not that normalization is necessarily a bad thing. It helps to make relations between people stable and peaceful for the most part. It is just that it doesn’t really work when you are someone who is all too painfully aware of the attempts to make you more normal in this way. As you then can’t help but see it as some sort of sham, and so it is then impossible to identify with the proposed “normal” way of life.

We see cases where normalization fails in those who end up repressing things about themselves until they can only be released in a destructive manner. It also seems to fail for many with various mental illnesses. Such as personality disorders. And even something as common in society these days as depression could be due to failed normalization.

In my case it seems to be mainly due to a sheer stubbornness and refusal to be manipulated into life choices that are not my own. And so I have a heightened awareness of any such attempts. The result is a life of worry and anxiety. As I am surrounded by people with whom I don’t share much affinity. So there is no common background to draw upon to build a trust on. And I am constantly awaiting the next attempt of someone to manipulate me into life choices not my own.

I know that refusing to be normal gives me a lot of troubles and difficulties in my life. I know things would probably be easier and run smoother for me in life if I acquiesced at times. But I just can’t deny my awareness when it shows me what it shows me. I must remain true to my awareness of things, but more by compulsion than by some morally grand choice or decision.

As for normality. I may have nostalgia at times for such a way of life, and even sometimes envy where I see it. But ultimately normality leads to a lack of awareness. It lures you in with the prospects of worldly successes and comforts. But it is no more than a socially glorified form of peer pressure. For a teenager it may manifest as wanting to be “cool”. But as an adult it will make you feel a need to be merely “normal”.

I never much wanted to be cool as a teenager, and neither do I much want to be normal as an adult. Too many people think too much only about social status. What does social status really matter in the grand scheme of things? Maybe it meant something when there was something left worth fighting for on this planet. But there is nothing free left on this earth worth fighting for. It is fully occupied already.

This world has already more than enough “cool” and “normal” people. But it doesn’t have remotely adequate awareness. Maybe that is something we should think about working on.

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