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To whom I love

March 14, 2016

You think you can understand, you think you can care

but you know nothing of what I have had to bear

When you try many things, and nothing succeeds

it all just leads back to the same old patterns and deeds.

when the world has made its decision that you will be rejected

there is nothing in the argument that can be interjected

no reason, no excuse, nothing can be put in place

to ease the despair and loneliness I must face

I have tried many times, for nothing, no result

the world has shunned me, but claims its my fault

yeh yeh, self pity, self pity, so fucking what

I tried to care for others and you gave me squat

Back to the same old pattern, that will be my death

revenge unachievable , against an enemy that left

An enemy that scarred and destroyed my soul

then ran away, leaving me with a gaping bleeding hole

a vacant, hollowed out husk of disgust

is all I can cling to, like grating rust

it scratches and screeches against my skin

with each day I relive and let that enemy once again win

someone has to pay , but no one will stand up to me

the depths of anguish cause them all to flee

Left all alone to chew at myself

and watch as down trickles my wealth

nothing left but self pity

and a life dull and shitty

I didnt deserve any of it, but it happened anyway

so what can you do , and what can you say

no more rationalisations, no more delusions

no more excuses, and mental confusions

just end it all, once and forever

this vain, fruitless, frustrated endeavour

End it quick and end it fast

consign my misery to the past

Please do not love me, there is nothing in there

Just kill me fast, and end this despair

I will love you for the deed

for uprooting this shallow weed

It would be some sweet justice, in my dying moment

that for one brief second, love saw through my torment.




From → Poetry

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