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Extracted Soul

October 13, 2016

Trying not to hate myself, to find some positive in my blackened soul

some source of inner wealth, among the dark cavernous holes

Why am I repulsed by natural feelings and emotions

always turning to perverse, self-denying devotions?

Always cutting myself out of natural human needs

that others indulge in, ravenously with greed.

Why put myself on a pedestal

why take this vacant higher ground

the view is cold and dull

and of beauty there is no sight nor sound.

Fears, worries, it takes my whole being just to face

leaving me a nervous wreck, a jibbering disgrace.

Round this circle I go, finding some sinister satisfaction

a failure that I plan myself

a sabotage of my own good health

my demons take over, completing my soul’s extraction.

 

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